It’s no secret that there are varying degrees and types of love. There’s family love, friend love, pet love, and the delicious chocolate ‘for my heart’ candy kind of love. Then, there’s the sweaty palms, heart-pounding, tunnel vision, head-over-heels in love kind of love. A love so passionately intense it can bring even the strongest of man to his knees, quite literally sometimes.
Undoubtedly, everyone’s timeline to declare their love is different, and no one timeline is better than the next. We’re going to analyze the latter kind of love and when might be the right time to outwardly profess that love.
So, when is the right time?
Experts weighing in on this question might suggest one or all of the following:
- Wait three, four, five, or some might even say six months or longer. According to Psychology Today, men are 39% more likely to say “I Love You” within the first month compared to just 23% of women during that same time frame. The consensus seems to be approximately 3 months. However, saying “I Love You” is not a ‘one-size fits all.’
- Wait until you move from the “me” to the “we” thinking. Relationship expert and author, Marisa T. Cohen, Ph.D. states, “When you constantly think about the other person, and you value the person for all of their strengths and faults, it is likely love.”
- Wait until you know your feelings won’t get hurt if they don’t reciprocate. Washington, D.C. relationship therapist, Rebekah Montgomery, Ph.D., emphasizes “The most critical aspect of deciding when to say ‘I love you’ is waiting until you feel comfortable with whatever the outcome is.”
You could research and try to decipher some of the thousands of surveys performed on this topic. However, to arrive at an exact “scientific result” one would have to survey the vast majority of the approximate 7.7 billion people in the world. And well, who has that kind of time when love is in the air?!
Love is not an object or a thing to be dissected. It’s a feeling; many times, a once-in-a-lifetime euphoric feeling, that cannot be put under a microscope.
Falling in love does not require an “application and interview” process for it to happen. Some even believe in the age-old phenomenon of “love at first sight” …that mind-blowing moment when you first meet someone and experience an immediate attraction. A deeper connection like none before.
But maybe for you, it doesn’t happen at first sight. Maybe it does take you longer to experience those feelings and to have the inclination to express your love. Maybe for you to be confident it’s the right time, you might first need to answer a few questions like:
- When we spend time together binge-watching our favorite show, not speaking a word, do I still feel connected?
- Can I see myself creating a family with this person?
- Can I see myself growing old with this person and creating our story?
- Can I be my unapologetically silly self and still feel safe?
- Do they make me want to be a better person?
So, what exactly have we figured out about when is the right time to say ‘I Love You’? Well, we can conclude there really is no right or wrong timeline to declare your love for another person. Only you can know if you’re ready to take that blind leap of faith to speak those three little words. When spoken from the heart, they’re as powerful as they are beautiful.
That’s the beauty of this crazy thing called Love; it has no constraints! So, follow your heart and #LoveDeeply.