We all have a different story. A unique past that has created the specific makeup of our being.
Because we are all vastly different, our strengths and challenges will never be exactly the same.
This is part of what makes the human experience such a sacred and wild journey. Our authenticity is our greatest gift. It is the imprint of our one-of-a-kind existence.
In the same way that we strive to live an honest life, we can also strive to show up honestly in our relationships. Relationships should never compromise our authenticity. Love, in fact, should be a place in which we flourish — where our passions, dreams, and desires are met with those of another's to create something truly special.
Instead of entering relationships with fixed standards and expectations, what if we designed our own ways of being connected? What if we wrote our own narratives on romance? What if we made our own rules?
Love and intimacy don’t deserve a one-size-fits-all approach.
The way we choose to live out our relationships is a direct reflection of our values, beliefs and dreams. Think of a few iconic artists & poets: Khalil Gibran. Pablo Neruda. Frida Kahlo. Love was the driving force for their creative works. Love was their medium. Their manifesto. Their motto. Love was the masterpiece of their lives.
What if you approached your love as an expression of your own unique creativity?
Here’s how you can design the right relationship for you.
Start with You
A successful relationship begins with you. By learning more about who you are, you can embrace yourself fully and extend to others from a wholesome and grounded place. To begin designing the romance you desire, start by getting to know yourself more deeply.
- What are your core values and beliefs?
- What are your biggest life goals and aspirations?
- What is your primary love language? Your attachment style?
- What are your driving forces for being in relationship? Is it companionship? Sex? Emotional intimacy?
- What are your boundaries within relationship? Where do you draw the line? What do you consider cheating?
By answering these questions with honesty, you begin to design a relationship that meets your individual needs and respects your boundaries. Getting clear on what you value in a romantic partnership will make it much easier to navigate this journey with someone else.
A “Blank” Canvas
A relationship takes two people. Two sets of values, beliefs, dreams, and goals.
Treat your romantic partnership like a blank canvas. You and your loved one each bring to the table a unique palette of colors and textures. Stroke by stroke you learn how to blend your own palettes into a brand-new array of magnificent hues.
The alchemy of romance comes to life when two hearts become one.
Once you are familiar with your own needs and desires for partnership, invite your loved one to be an active co-creator in the design of your romantic relationship.
Together, consider these questions in painting your canvas of romance:
- How much time do you want to spend together?
- Would you like to live together one day, if you don’t already?
- Are you both interested in the “escalator relationship” (dating, moving in together, getting engaged, married, and, having children)?
- If not, what trajectory for your relationship are you looking to create?
Ultimately, clear and honest communication is key to designing a successful romantic relationship. Once you are each aware of your personal needs, you can come together to create a way of relating that works for you both.
Getting to know the deeper aspects of one another, the uncommon shades in your partner’s color palette, will invite a more authentic quality of love to exist between you two.
There is no right or wrong way to be in love.
No matter what your canvas looks like, by honoring your authentic self, communicating clearly with your loved one and allowing room for exponential growth, you are actively creating the romance you desire.